an Ondia J. Motherhood Story


The Third
The Third
The Third

Everyone keeps asking me, "How do you feel?" and my answer is always, " I feel fine!" Seriously, if I didn't have the constant reminder of baby kicks and jabs under my ribs, you couldn't tell me I wasn't pregnant! The mister has told tell me to sit down or go to bed most days because I’m never tired. I didn't get the baby bump until week 30 and like Beyoncé said, 'I woke up like this'. Poof, overnight there it was, a full blown stomach that I couldn't suck in. Week 30 was a milestone for me because that's when I actually looked how a pregnant woman "should" and I felt super womanly and sexy. Folks were so complimentary and held doors, my curves was poppin, skin glowin, hair was all long luxurious, the occasional swollen feet but that didn't get me down! It was just a really good time for me physically and I still maintained my weight with just 7lbs gained even though I was throwin back McDonald hot chocolate Sunday's or Rita’s mango water ice at least once a week.


The Baby Shower, see it here, was lit and a huge weight off my shoulders once it was done. Even though we got a lot of stuff from the party, it was just that - stuff. No one really paid attention to my registry and I had multiples of everything except things we actually needed. We got 5 swings, 3 boppy pillows, 2 wipe warmers, 1000 pacifiers and the list goes on but no one bought size 1 diapers or smaller or clothes! I was shocked! I didn't even put clothes on my registry because I thought it was a given. I hadn't shopped for anything because I wanted to wait and see what we would get so the last month and a half I returned stuff and cashed out all the gift cards and did some serious shopping. It worked out great because I got exactly what I wanted. Speaking of nesting, the baby room was a whole ‘nother project I tackled and you can see the room reveal here. Shout out to Sherwin Williams for partnering with me on that!


At 31 weeks I failed the 1 hour glucose test which was scary because I got gestational hypertension or high blood pressure (hbp) around 26 weeks and my doctor was really pushing induction at 38 weeks. I just knew this failed test would set alarms off with doc but I passed the 3 hour test, whew! I did my own research and got a second and third opinion about the induction because it wasn't my ideal birth plan and I could tell I was being treated as a high risk patient. My unmedicated blood pressure was steady at each visit, baby and uterus reached each milestone so I knew I wasn’t being heard. I switched doctors and eventually practices at 34 weeks because I felt that I was only offered induction out of convenience and profit. Once I switched practices it was like night and day. The bedside care and genuine attention I was given was exactly what I wanted. The talk of induction was taken off the table because I’m not a high risk patient and medically shouldn’t have been the first course of action. So glad I read, researched and stuck to my guns. It's on my heart to write a post about medical advocacy and prenatal education especially for black woman because there were many times I felt helpless or bullied to make immediate decisions or shamed when I would pushback. Another topic, another day.


So while I'm virtually symptom free living my best pregnant life, The Mister got weird. The whole 7 months he played it cool and then completely fell apart the last 2 months. It took my mom telling me that he was probably ‘nervous and overwhelmed’ and sure enough while we were watching a movie during the loudest scene he mumbles verbatim that he was “feeling weird and overwhelmed”. I thought he was just being an asshole but in actuality the responsibility of this new person and changes were overwhelming him. His words, not mine. Who knew?! I share that to say, check on your man during the third trimester because that's when they're actually seeing and processing all of what's happening. I don't think we realize that the Dad have feelings and worries too because the entire process is all about us. For our relationship it was really important for us to spend more time together because that was gonna forever change and to check-in on each other mentally and emotionally. A babymoon was definitely a necessity just so we could get away, relax, center ourselves and make the new game plan going forward. I’ve always wanted to go camping - but don’t do bugs - so I found a “glamping” destination a couple hours from home and we stayed in a yurt. Think decked out teepee minus the tv in the middle of a forrest. Trust me, it was a cool experience!


Can we talk about my child for a minute. She's a cross between the Michigan J. Singing Frog, you know the one that'll bust out in a full song and dance but as soon as eyes are on him he just says, "ribbit" and Dave Chappell as Rick James in the F yo couch skit. I can never catch on camera or get anyone else to witness or feel how active this girl is! She’ll literally be breakdancing on my bladder and as soon as I want her dad to feel it, she stops! Of all the ultrasounds we’ve had done, and there’s been a lot because I see a perinatal specialist and get one every week, and we’ve yet to see her face! My girl will find a way to turn her head, throw her hands up or hide behind things in my belly, gross. All of my ultrasound pictures are either unrecognizable or scary LOL. My mom thinks she’s shy but the virgo in me thinks she’s private and moody or maybe they’re little moments she wants just us to share. Do you girl, we’ll see you soon.


Overall, this pregnancy has been a joy and way easier than I thought. I pray that my delivery is just as smooth and that I'm blessed with a moderate to easy level baby because I surely don't really know what I'm doing. I have watched all the YouTube videos and have tried reading books but like math, I prefer to work my problems out by hand and my mom will stay with us the first week or so. I feel like The Grinch at the end of the movie when his heart grew 3 sizes. I'm now compassionate to the mom in Target who takes up the entire isle with her 4 kids or the kid at the restaurant who wont turn around because just 9 months ago I would've been pissed and annoyed. I cannot wait to experience labor so I can meet this little girl that has been lounging in my body most of 2018!